So it's that time of year again! Our girls are getting back in the trenches and making their way back to school. Not only is she going to be facing a new school year, but remember we just spent a WHOLE year either distance learning or learning hybrid style, so that is a whole new set of challenges that she will have to battle.
But guess what?! It's ok, the difference between you and others is that WE have each other, you have a Confidence Coach for Girls by your side so that you are able to get the support that you are needing.
One of the ways that I feel as though I could be of service to you is by sharing tips and resources (as you know our goal at HandiWork LLC is encourage our girl to practice HEALTHY CONFIDENCE so she is not giving into negative behavior such as self-harm or bullying). In this blog post I will be sharing 3 tips that you can do NOW that is meant to support not only your girl, but YOU (as her parent, guardian, mentor) so that you can continue to build a healthy relationship with her. So grab your note book and pen and let's get started.
Tip #1: SPEND INTENTIONAL (ONE ON ONE) TIME WITH YOUR GIRL:
- Believe me I know how challenging this can be (I am a single mom of 3, so I know the struggle), but it's something that NEEDS to be done and that we NEED to make time for. This will allow you and your girl to connect and bond in a unique way, and this give your girl a safe space to speak to you about future concerns or topics.
Tip #2: ASK HER OPEN ENDED QUESTIONS ABOUT HER DAY:
-Many of us ask generic questions or questions to our loved ones that does not allow them to elaborate. Here is how we typically ask questions:
Mom- "How was your day?"
Girl- "Good"
Does that sound familiar? Believe me I know, and I know how frustrating that can be. So instead of asking a question that leaves an opportunity for your girl to say YES or NO, ask her more open ended questions about her day (this is where the ONE on ONE time comes in because when you all are having conversations you can pick up on some of the things that she is talking about, and follow up on her bit by bit). For example is you notice your girl have been complaining about her math class or dreading to go to P.E. class, this is where you can ask her:
Mom- "So what did you all do in math class today?"
This is a perfect question that can be asked for you to hear how her day went in there, and listen to the reason she may be having a hard time, you may have a solution (or not) and it's ok NOT to have a solution sometimes she just needs someone to listen to her.
Tip #3: Pay attention (and spend some time if you can) with her and her friends
-Have you ever heard that saying :
"Show me your friends and I will show you who you are"
or
"You are who you hang out with"
I believe this to be true. Your girl is hanging out with who she is hanging with for a particular reason...either she is intrigued or entertained by this person, or her she may have ALOT in common with her besties. That is where you come in to try and find out why she is hanging with who she is hanging with. Now you don't have to be creepy and try to hang with them as a "trying to be cool mom", but what you can do is to offer to take the girls out for ice cream, Starbucks, drive them to the mall (and interact in the conversations). There are many creative ways that you can make sure that you are being proactive.
Well I hope that these tips really helped you, be on the look out for our next blog post. But please be on the look out for more and let me know if there is something that you would like me to blog about.
In the meantime take a look at the website and see what we have going on.
Sincerely,
Keisha Montfleury
Confidence Coach for Girls